"The 7-Step Plan to Get a Good Man" by Naomi Elimelech
No offense to Ruth's Ex, but Boaz might be the dreamiest, most distinguished guy in the entire Bible. Read the 4 chapters of the book of Ruth, you will have a crush on him for days! I have only good words for Boaz. He was a real stand-up guy. A good guy. Of course, we found scientific proof in this post that women tend to walk all over good guys and love bad guys instead. Unfortunately but fortunately, bad boys go out of style. As women get older, they forget that bad-boys-are-so-steamy nonesense and want the real deal. Boaz was the realest deal.
What made Boaz so dreamy? He was mature, you could tell from his character; the way he conducted himself and treated others. He saw her heart and the good in it and he commended her for it; he had excellent work ethics and prayed for his workers, which is starkly different from Nabal's work ethics; Boaz noticed Ruth; he blessed her; he cared about her reputation, even when she did something a little "brazen"*insert whistle*, he honored her; he physically served her some food (he won me here); he was a provider, finally, (and this was what killed it), he waited for her. We all know that delayed gratification is the sexiest symbol of strength. He waited until all the legal, cultural, familial, social, societal protocols were complete before all the furniture-shifting making-out started.
Delayed gratification is the sexiest show of strength!
Anyway, Naomi's jaw dropped when she heard Ruth had kinda landed Boaz. The dream-boat of the town! Quickly, she came up with this crazy idea to make sure Ruth had him good, which you probably should not try in these modern times. Lol. Mark my words, if you do, he will get creeped out and he will call the police. So let's figure out together, what would Naomi's "gettagoodman" plan look like in this modern day? You can find it in Ruth 3:3-4. Here goes:
Step 1: "Wash"
Present day interpretation: Umm...wash. Wash is still the same today, as it was in 1365 BC. Hygiene has to be tip-top. No negotiation.
Step 2: "...Put on perfume..."
Present day interpretation: Don't smell good. Smell really good! Let him know you don't smell like farm and barley, or like coffee and printer ink all day long. Engage his sense of smell. By the way, I have a theory** about the role of perfume in this "gettagoodman" scheme, so keep reading.
Step 3: "...Get dressed in your best clothes..."
Present day interpretation: Always look your best (not someone else's best but look your own best). 10/10 all day, everyday. Engage his sense of vision. Make the effort, use the amount of makeup you are comfortable with. After getting ready, ask yourself, "Is this the best I can do for me?"
Step 4: "...Then go down to the threshing floor..."
Present day interpretation: Go out to the places you expect your dream man to be.
Step 5: "...But donʼt let him know you are there, until he has finished eating and drinking."
Present day interpretation: Don't be too available. Don't like all his photos and reply all his snaps. Don't go to his apartment every weekend! Also apparently, wining and dining seems to precede romance. *shrug* Somethings never change.
Step 6: "When he lies down, note the place where he is lying..."
Present day interpretation: Be observant, watch him. Cyber-stalk him. Muhaha. Stalk with stealth though. See past the glitz and have a good perception of who he really is.
Step 7: "...Then go and uncover his feet and lie down. He will tell you what to do."
Present-day interpretation: Whao. This is my favorite part of it, and also is the bit that could get you arrested, if try out this stunt today. Sneaking into a guy's bedroom unannounced and bothering his toes. Federal offense. I'm guessing it was a thing in their culture. Uncover his feet in this day would mean make him uncomfortable, not in a bad way. Sometimes, men need to be nudged to see Ruth. Does anyone one know any practical ways to nudge? Lol!
Once you've done all 6 steps, the 7th step is entirely up to him. If he doesn't get what's going on after all 6 steps, then he is probably married or really, really, really isn't into you. And that is the part where you move on.
In Sunday school, Mary was the saint, Esther was the Queen and Ruth was the desperado. Now, I see she really wasn't. She was just following the careful, wise instruction of an older woman, who knew the culture and knew the kind of man Boaz was; a man who wouldn't take advantage of a vulnerable person. Naomi's advice in a nut shell is this: once you've done your homework and you realize he's a great guy, engage him with the right amount of proactivity, not too much. Don't be in his face all the time. Look and smell very good always, make sure he can't put you in his friends' zone and remember to remain enshrouded in mystery, it'll drive him crazy.
*shrugs*
*drops mic*
*walks out of tent*
The End
My "gettagoodman" perfume theory
**The sense of smell is controlled by the frontal lobe, the same portion of the brain that controls speech, concentration, movement/motor function and emotional reactions. When he gets a good whiff of you, chances are that you are about to turn him into a blubbering, distracted, paralyzed, emotional wreck, which is great! Lol. It's only temporary anyway. The sense of smell directly influences emotional responses and, concentration which is a major "gettagoodman" hack. Esther, during her year-long beauty program, spent 6 months in a special perfume application program! Perfume is important. Nothing more to say.
Here is another post that describes techniques to catch fish...and by fish we mean good guys! What are your thoughts on Naomi's "Gettagoodman" plan?! Do you know any practical ways to make him uncomfortable enough to make the move?
PGI's November Girl: Akor(The Techy Creative)
I was torn between "The Techy Creative" and "The Inspiration Sparkle" for Akor's PGI Girl tag. "Inspiration Sparkle", because she literally goes around sprinkling inspiration dust without even knowing. I find her oblivion darling and refreshingly modest! I tell you, I spent 4 months trying to convince her to be a PGI girl. Her argument was that she had nothing to share and she wasn't aware of any inspiration she was responsible for. Well, think again. At the end of the post are 4 things I learnt during this interview with Akor.
After cyber-stalking her for a while, she finally said Yes! I think she was trying to get rid of me. Haha! I'm joking. Akor is a creative writer who works in I.T. In our interview, we chat about creativity in I.T. We also chat about boyfriends, banga soup, and modeling experiences! Did we laugh a lot? Errr...definitely!
Please meet the beautiful and wonderfully witty Akor.
You have the prettiest name. What is your full name? Where are you from?
Akorwuotomi Oluwatowoju Akpenyi;
Agbor, Delta State
I love your names! What do they mean?
Akor means Wisdom is life
Oluwatowoju means God is enough to look upon (Yoruba)
What's the coolest thing about Delta state?
Our pounded yam and banga soup. Not of this world!
Banga soup...hmmn! I almost lost an ex to banga soup one time...
Yeah, you didn't stand a chance *straight face*
Yep, I think it ended that very moment. I have many questions about banga soup. What's the magic? What's the most important ingredient of this soup?
*laughs* Palm oil makes all the difference, in my opinion. Fish, stock fish or meat make it good but if you get the palm oil wrong, I don't think there's a remedy.
Three ideal ways to start your day?
A) Most ideal: wake up on the beach, just before dawn, watch the sun rise and maybe do a dance to God for creating such a view *dreamy look*
Back to Reality
B) Wake up before dawn, still, spend some time quietly recalling and meditating on the last bible scripture I read. Ideally, I'd like to stay there until the thoughts of God’s love and care make me smile.
C) Someone interrupts my sleep before dawn to give me gist! *laughs* I don't want you to think I like gist! I know it sounds like I'm a morning person but I'm not (at least not yet). I prefer to be up before dawn to prepare for the morning.
Favorite smell? Dodo or Rain?
Rain! Babey, rain! *laughs*
What are you reading these days?
The Greatest Salesman in the World (A life-changing read). Even though it's a book that teaches the principles of marketing and sales. It also holds a lot of life lessons applicable to our daily lives. It actually has helped my spiritual life. It taught me to personalize my confessions, scriptures prayers and God's promises.
The most challenging thing about being a model?
I have to think back as it's been a while. I haven’t done any professional modelling jobs in a bit. Finding an inner excitement for every picture, even if I had been on my feet for hours and entirely famished
How do you keep that beautiful face so straight?!
I think of the final picture. No one wants a smirk in a fierce look
A reader of PGI once advised models to “flirt with the lenses?” during shoots. Is that what you do? Are lenses lovers? #modelwisdom
Well, for ‘flirting’ I think it depends on the mood of the shoot e.g. a sexy shot. But in general, I just look at the lens like it is the eyes of someone who loves me. Someone who sees no wrong in me. It boosts confidence regardless of the context in which you’re shooting
How did you get into modeling? What’s your fave part of a shoot?
I just finished NYSC. I needed to make money, also I was bored.
Every part of the shoot can be great with the right music and amazing crew. But makeup is the least interesting for me. I actually hardly wear makeup to work. On Fridays, I do, much to the delight of my colleagues *laughs*
What do you do for work?
I work at an IT firm as a business analyst/Innovation incubator
How much creativity are you allowed in IT?
Well, not much, until I joined my current firm in this new role. My role involves me thinking about creative ways to make IT attractive to the average individual (mostly Nigerian), and then actually getting them to use it! *laughs*
What skills would you say are most important to survive working in IT?
There are different skills peculiar to the different IT roles. For technical roles, Certifications! Certifications! Certifications! In general, I’d just say read the news…stay abreast of IT trends and forecasts. The possibilities in technology are almost endless.
Do you doodle or daydream?
Doodle
Doodles rule
Okada or Napep?
I’d rather trek (no kidding)
Okada riders in Lagos are auditioning for "Fast and Furious Naija", I've never been a fan. A few months ago, I would have chosen Napep, until this thing happened...I was in a Napep and we almost got crushed by an oncoming truck because the Napep driver drove so recklessly. I asked the guy why he drove that way, and he goes “Ah! Na God hold our life, if he say time don reach, e don reach”. In other words, he was suicidal.
So, yeah, if I had to choose between Okada and Napep, I'll buy a bottle of water and start my walk.
The word ‘man’ is synonymous to …..
Dab? Ham? *smiles* ok, Dude, Protector, Motivator.
What age did you begin to write?
I was about 14, it got me through a difficult time of my life.
Favorite poet?
@writtenbyHim
What’s your most recurring writing theme?
“Live the hell out of life” (literally too)
If you had to write "Live the Hell Out of Life For Dummies" what would be the summary of the book in 3 sentences?
You are enough. Don't store up your magic because you worry about running out; so put your first foot forward everyday and watch how you evolve into new wonders each day. Love brings meaning to everything.
3 things on your bucket list?
I've had to redo this list a number of times *laughs* but somethings have stayed a while:
A) Perform in/ organize a flash mob
B) Get photographed by Jeremy Cowart
C) Learn a rap song
What’s your weirdest muse?
I love to read God’s message to the people of Israel at different times in the bible. It portrayed a very intense love involving a lot of chasing and wooing and vexing and loving proclamations. lol
For example, just look at Isaiah 28:12
“God has told his people,
“Here is a place of rest;
let the weary rest here.
This is a place of quiet rest.”
But they would not listen
So the Lord will spell out his message for them again,
one line at a time,
one line at a time,
a little here,
and a little there,
so that they will stumble and fall.
They will be injured, trapped, and captured”
Song stuck in your head these days?
Holy Spirit by Kari Jobe
If you had God over for dinner, what would you make?
I’m not a great cook, so I think I would dance for Him instead. Really, I have this dance choreographed in my head for God. I plan to perform for Him when I get to heaven.
What song would you dance to?
Ty Bello's 'Dance for you' and Big Daddy Weaves's 'Without You'
Do you drive in Lagos? Ever outsmarted LASTMA?
*sigh* Yes, I drive o. haha I haven’t outsmarted them. Unless you agree that refusing to ‘tip’ them and choosing to pay the normal fine was pretty smart *laughs*
What’s your idea of a perfect date?
Lots and lots of laughter, food and great music and maybe some randomness- some dancing.
Favorite nail polish color?
Nude
What’s your hidden talent?
I must say I’m pretty good at the Rock’s “Can you smell what the Rock is cooking?” eyebrow thing…for both eyebrows! A pretty big deal I know.
I loved our Skype call but this hidden talent was the highlight of it all! Thank you, Akor!
"Can you smell what Akor is cooking?"
4 Things I Learnt
1. You can lose your boyfriend, if he is lured away with Banga soup. Fact.
2. During your quiet time with God, sit there until you feel Him. Feel His love and His arms.
3. A camera does not judge you.
4. Do not hoard your magic or your best work! Always put your best stuff out there!
Thank you so much, Akor, for being PGI's November girl! Love you loads!
PGI loves to honor everyday people who inspire. The great news is, we are all capable of inspiring! Do you know someone who inspires? Click here and share with us!
What's so Wrong with 'Woman on Top'?
I have written 4 separate drafts of this post, each at least 400 words long. In all of them, i sound a little crazed, and mildly temperamental. Lol. It's what happens when it occurs to me that in 2016, women are still fighting for rights. This post is void of all sentiments, which i've found is a great way to think clearly.
I have a question, what is so bothersome about a woman being in the same league as men?
This is a happy read, so put your guards down. For the people who thought this post was about sexual positions, sorry.
Women, we WILL get those rights, the right to make as much as men, to get the same educational and occupational opportunities, to own property, to speak freely. However, we all need to want these rights, not just some of us. Women are wonderful beings, but still in this age, solidarity still has to be preached to us!
We are sentimental individuals and we are heavy on those emotions, right? We make a lot of our decisions based on how we feel, in addition to our skills and that's great! It's an amazing selling point for us. We bring intuition and human concern into board rooms and warmth into the lives of those around us but we also bring other negative emotions too, sometimes. These emotions are usually targeted at other women. I've been a recipient of some of these "emotions" from women i was subordinate to. Why? Maybe because i was young, sometimes older women dislike younger women; maybe because i had long, skinny legs. These were the reasons my friends gave me for my superiors' behaviors. To be honest, i would have given them those legs, if i could. Lol. Seriously though, we need to be more supportive of one another.
Men mentor one another, men help each other, men recommend one another for positions....even if they dislike the other person. Surveys and studies show all these. For women though, that's not how we roll. We backbite, gossip, snicker, bully each other and think a system will take us seriously? The rights start with us. We need to respect one another, value each others' rights and honor other women.
Men, empowering women does not mean you'll lose status or that we'll take over the world. Haha, if we wanted to take over the world, Eve would have eaten that fruit, all of it and given Adam nothing. She'd have made a smoothie and planned a flawless, instant world take-over, while Adam ran around with butterflies.
No human should have to beg for a better quality of life. Women shouldn't have to struggle to be as successful as any man. Success shouldn't be an unachievable luxury.
Being 'the man of the house', means that you protect, nurture and beautify the woman and not oppress her. You should decorate and honor her, encourage her to follow her dreams. Find a good balance for raising your kids. Don't blackmail her or make her feel bad for wanting more. Don't bully her to stroke your ego. That's distasteful (And distasteful isn't trending). Please, defend women in public and speak up, don't just be quiet and watch your sisters, nieces, wives, mothers struggle for rights that are theirs.
For the Christians who use the bible as an excuse to subjugate women, my peeps, Jesus Christ came to empower women. The woman with the constant period, yes, the society-reject who everyone 'eww-ed' at, he restored and reintegrated her into the community. Mary M, the most sultry girl out there, who was a prostitute, was his friend. He helped her choose a better life. He hung out with Mary and Martha. On the cross, in his pain and sorrow, he made living arrangements for his mum! Luke 8: 1-3 names women who gave Jesus money for his ministry; working women who financially empowered Jesus! Then you say, women should not be empowered? Are you kidding me?!
Fix the problem, don't be the problem.
xx
9 Things you didn’t know about Women (#7 Though)
Just when you thought women couldn't get any more complicated, here are 8 things (plus one) you probably didn't know about them. Enjoy and identify below!
#1 We are happier when we gain weight
This study shows that women reported an increase in mental quality of life when they gained weight; another case of our biological setup working against us. Lol! Fun.
#2 We are gold diggers and proud. Whatever!
Women like men with the prospects of resources, can you really blame us, no? Blame it one our biological setup (again), it's how we are wired. Women seek men who are able to provide for them and their offspring. It's only logical that we'd be gold-diggers, only a little bit, yes, even if we make our own money.
#3 We love us a man who wears red
Not like a ridiculous all-red outfit, but just one piece of apparel that's red. In a study where female subjects were shown photos of the same man wearing a blue, grey or red shirt, most women reported that the guy looked most attractive and sexually appealing in the red shirt. Red is associated with power, dominance and status. There we go again G-digging.
#4 We like a little "girl-envy"
Apparently we shop to show off to other females and not to men. This I couldn't believe, it makes sense though, a girl would go, "wow, you have the new mulberry!", a guy really might not notice lol. Women are more likely to give a specific, educated compliment, so i guess it foloows that we would want to dress for such "educated" compliments. I like dressing for me though! I compliment myself already!
#5 We mark our territories too
It has been discovered that women are able to draw borderlines around their partners and spouses when they carry expensive labeled handbags. A study shows that when women see another female with a pricey handbag on one arm and a man on the other, she crosses the man off her potential sugar-bae list.
#6 We think men who do chores are hot
Don't ask. While it sounds like a fine case of reverse psychology, it's true and we can't argue with stuff science proves. So men, hehe!
#7 We attracted to men who look like dad
Studies show women who have good relationships with their fathers, tend to fall for a pop-look-alike. Lol! I don't want to talk about it anymore. Lol
#8 We act like we don't need mentors
A study shows women are more hesitant than men about asking to be mentored. This could be for several reasons, maybe the misconception that other women don't like to help subordinates get up the work ladder. It's not entirely a misconception, I've experienced that first hand. There are women who have a problem with helping others out of insecurity and other personal reasons, but there are some who don't mind. It's important to find a good mentor. We need to be more proactive with reaching out to women in higher positions, it's been proven that mentored professionals have a higher chance of success.
#9 Working mothers are more productive than their peers who have no children! Who knew?!
According to this article, working mamas have been seen to be more productive at the work place. This might be because they are better organized or they feel the need to catch up to a greater degree, so they don't fall behind. Whatever it is, they do it well! Way to Go, Mums!
I think i might be 8, 7, 6, 3, 1 and ta-dah...2! Love you, Ed!
Can you identify with any of these? Are you actually happier when you gain weight? Do you have a mentor? Does he look like dad?