It's cute and exhaustingly amusing when someone from another country tells me "Hey, you speak really good English" or when they think suddenly in their minds "EBOLA!" and begin to panic, just because i said i'm Nigerian (hehe) or when they think "Hmmm" and immediately activate their Inspector gadget Internet-fraud sensors. The best is when they think we are terrorists. Someone actually once referred to us (to my face) as "You terrorists!" LOL! I love foreigners. I'll be honest, i thought about hitting him over the head with the pack of pasta i was holding but then 1) It was a rare pasta that i usually buy from Italy 2) You really can't beat ignorance out of anyone 3) He was much shorter than i was (i might have been whisked away by the police for child abuse before they understood that he was actually 35). However, what can i say, we all are ignorant at some time or the other (e.g. my sore disappointment whenever i'm on Baker street and I don't run into Sherlock Holmes or whenever i'm in New York and i don't run into the cast of friends, so hey.)
when someone asks how I learnt to speak English
Here's the truth, the typical Nigerian has no interest in terrorism, communicates excellently and is quite the culinary beast. If you aren't friends with us for any reason, at least, for the sake of your olfactory and gustatory senses, make friends with one Nigerian!
Happy Independence day, baby!!!
Fun things to know about Nigerians:
We don't really believe in snacking (our snacks look like meals)
We don't eat food without meat. Lol!
We respect the elderly
We don't act up when we drink. We don't know why. No falling in the gutters, no puking, nothing. We just breath in the alcohol.
We are awesome drivers! We make it work without traffic lights, floor markings, reflectors or street lights. So to all my people who have failed their driving tests in diaspora, We Shall Rise!
We can tell if you are not from Nigeria and we don't even have to speak to you to know
We really are very clever
We make amazing jollof rice #NigerianJollof
We know there's a God and he hooks us up
We love the familiar but we appreciate the foreign (We actually like foreigners, maybe too much)
We aren't all shafty and dodgy internet fraudsters
We love to dance! You have no idea
Our fight/flight system is off the hiz (does anyone even say that anymore, it was such a good adjective)
We love football
We thrive. We live in the most remote parts of the world. Ok that's stretching it, Iceland , Antartica.... all stretches. We thrive anywhere that promises economic prosperity.
We have a good ear for music
We drive a hard bargain. It's almost embarrassing
We have coded in our DNA the entrepreneurial gene; here, there, there, enough said
We discipline our kids, no back-talk or you get a back-hand
We make amazing Jollof rice (did i say this already? You bet i did, i'll say it again We make amazing jolly...even autocorrect be hating...JOLLOF rice!)
We can be naive and at the same time deeply cunning . Shrug, what can we say, it's a gift
We like nice things....very very very nice things
We dress up not down.
We DON'T enjoy extreme sports ; no bungee, mountaineering, hiking (less than a quarter mile will do)
Come on, love us will ya!
Add to the list! I know our traits are inexhaustible......
